Millypede

Tag: mental-health

  • Rules Are Rules.

    Rules Are Rules.

    To be fair, he laid the ground rules from the start: no falling in love.

    I understood the assignment. 

    I was certain I wouldn’t cross that line. 

    Besides, I had convinced myself that someone as broken as I was lacked the capacity for love anyway. 

    So, I agreed, and we became a part of each other’s daily lives.

    I can’t speak for him, but I grew to love being part of his world. 

    I had always carried a quiet hunger to love and care for someone, and finding that outlet in him brought me a peace I hadn’t expected. 

    What I failed to realize, however, was that while I was finding a home in him, he was still just following the rules.

  • Delulu Is The Solulu.

    Delulu Is The Solulu.

    Imagine this:

    You confess. He goes silent.

    Not a single word.

    You’ve created an awkward situation.

    He’s in an awkward position.

    You? You’re just dying.

    Message read. No reply.

    Do you double-text to “explain”? 

    Do you pivot and claim it was just an April Fool’s joke? 

    Or do you just accept your fate and vanish from the face of the earth?

  • Why did we cross paths ?

    Today, I woke up feeling drained.

    Emotionally drained.

    I love you, but you are not mine to love.

    I miss you, but you are not mine to miss.

    I want to be with you, but you are not mine to be with.

    Emotionally, I feel tired.

    Today, I feel alone.

    Today, I feel drained.

    I don’t blame you for this.

    And you don’t have to apologize, as it isn’t your fault.

    It’s just a case of meeting the right person at the wrong time.

    The right person, at the wrong time.

    Sometimes I wonder: why did we cross paths?

    Why make us cross paths when the timing was so wrong?

    At times, I feel it would have been better if our paths had never crossed at all.

    I would have never known you, and you would have never known me.

    It would have been easier that way.

    We would have been ignorantly happy with what we had.

    Also, I wouldn’t have felt this tired or alone.

    I don’t like this feeling—this sense of being emotionally and mentally drained.

    It has taken a toll on me.

    So, what do I do?

    What do I do to avoid feeling so tired?

    I think I will surrender and accept fate as it is.

    I’ll accept the fact that we were only meant to cross paths and nothing more.

    Some people have journeys together, but ours ended the day we met.

    I will just surrender and go on with life, with no hopes or expectations.

    Who knows?

    Maybe in this life, we were only meant to meet.

    And maybe in the next life, that is where our journey truly begins.

    Until then, I will surrender.

    Because the truth is, you were never mine to begin with.

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